


better to burn than to fade away

by thecourageofstars



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Prison AU, Skyeward Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:49:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5535359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecourageofstars/pseuds/thecourageofstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fun Facts from Agent May: The Freezer isn’t a prison many people know about it. Mostly because it’s classified. So classified that only 50 people in the world- other than its prisoners- know it exists.</p><p>“Raise that number to 51 then,” Skye murmurs.</p><p>Written for Skyeward Secret Santa!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. better to burn than to fade away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Merry Christmas! It was great fun lurking on your page the last month, and I hope you enjoy! Part two should be up about a week from now. Cheers!

The Freezer was a tall rectangular skyscraper that jutted out from the middle of the Pacific Ocean like an enormous splinter. Skye’s heart was thump thump thumping in her throat when the helicopter touched down roughly on the helipad, yet once her feet hit the ground she felt oddly weightless. It was like being in the middle of a hurricane, wind whipping her hair into her face and threatening to pull her off her feet and down to meet her final watery resting place. Never had she felt so careful as she made her way towards the prison’s entrance, legs shaky. As the elevator doors slowly slid shut, the helicopter was but a black sesame seed floating on the horizon. For a moment, Skye imagined herself slipping through the doors and jumping off the edge. Maybe Agent May would care, but Skye was a fairly new recruit. They would blame it on a mental break down and no one would be the wiser.

But then the doors closed, and the silence was deafening.

Escorted by the two guards, Skye felt smaller than usual. She had just gotten used to the weightlessness of the helipad and the roar of the wind and the pure silence and the pure white halls were unsettling. How had they not heard her heart, still ramming into her chest like a jackhammer? It had taken two years, a month and nine days of meticulous planning to get here and now Skye felt just as lost as she had been at the very beginning.

Her legs felt like noodle when the elevator doors slid open again and Agent Victoria Hand’s calm brown eyes bored into her skull.

“Agent Johnson.” With a curt nod she towards the guards, she entered the elevator. Beside her, Skye fought the urge to fidget.

“If we were at a S.H.I.E.L.D. training center I might excuse a small lapse in protocol,” she said, concise and to the point as ever. Skye resisted the urge to roll her eyes. As if Agent I’ve-got-a-stick-up-my-ass Hand would ever even excuse a small lapse in protocol.

“But we are in a highly classified prison and mistakes will not be excused. Likewise, if _you_ see something does not add up, you report it. _Immediately_.”

From the back, Skye wondered if she would have assumed Hand was a bit more fun to be around, with her thick ruby highlights that gleamed in the florescent lights.

“Is that understood?” she says turning around to face her, brown eyes dark and faintly threatening like a blanketed fire.

“Yes Agent Hand,” Skye said, solemn.

Hand continued staring at Skye as she reached out to stop the elevator.

“You would not have been my first choice to work at a classified facility.”

What a surprise. May hadn’t recruited her because she was good at following the rules. She had never actually met Agent Hand in person, but when Skye had been nothing but a rising star in the hackitvist community, she had majorly interfered with one of Hand’s missions. It wasn’t unreasonable to assume that Hand didn’t know the identity of the hacker who had caused her mission to fail, but Hand was so dead pan it was hard to tell. Skye didn’t think she wanted to know. It didn’t matter anyway.

Agent Hand paused, but Skye just tilted back her chin regaining some of the confidence that the wind had swept away.

“Several infractions were listed on your file, and you must understand that none of that will be tolerated here. Toe the line and there will be unpleasant repercussions.”

“Agent Hand,” Skye said with a wry smile, “You are not the first person to have this conversation with me. And I don’t exactly have the desire to be the cause of a prison break.”

“I’m glad this is not a surprise to you then,” Hand said, suspicious but somewhat satisfied as she turned the elevator back on.

Accompanied by the guards, Skye and Agent Hand exited the elevator and began walking down a long, barren hallway.

“Why am I here by the way?”

In front of her, Hand sighed.

“You were being trained for the field were you not?”

And to think her heart had just began to not feel like a jackhammer. Only down her heart rate seemed faint. Skye took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“Yes. And?”

They had reached the end of the hall, just in front of what looked like the entrance to a vault.

“I’m just curious.”

“Agent Hand,” Skye said, surprising herself at the lack of gritted teeth, “no you’re not.”

“Agent Johnson, I am just curious until I tell you otherwise.”

Hand was concise alright, and Skye had to respect that, just a little bit.

“Your official duty is to update and maintain our surveillance system. You will be aided,” she said as they reached a door at the end of the hall, “By Agents Simmons and Fitz.”

 

.

 

Jemma Simmons was even shorter Skye. She was a pretty woman with owlish eyes, two Masters and a doctorate. Fitz was Scottish and could wax poetry about mechanics and anything that involved engineering along with an odd fixation on monkeys. They were an odd pair. And yet, Skye could not deny their charm..

“Okay, why are you here?”

“What do you mean?” Jemma asked, bright and sunny and unmistakably nervous. Even Fitz had stopped fiddling with the miniature drones he called the dwarfs.

“You two are way too smart to be stuck here. Not to mention that your area of expertise has nothing to do with running a prison.”

“Au contraire! Every prison needs a prison doctor.” For a moment, Skye felt a bit guilty because Jemma looked so proud of herself.

“Maybe if you say it with a little more conviction I’ll believe you.”

Jemma’s face fell and Skye bit back a smile.

“We’re not entirely sure, actually.”

 _“Fitz!,”_ Jemma hissed.

“Well it’s true,” Fitz told her looking a little harried.

“We’re supposed to be doing things like testing the emergency generator systems and going over patient files, but Agent Hand refuses to tell us why.”

“I’m supposed to be updating the surveillance system, but Hand suggested that wasn’t all I would be doing.”

“See,” Fitz told Jemma emphatically, “we can trust her!”

“We don’t know that- not that I don’t think you’re lovely Skye, I’m sure I’m just being paranoid-”

“No offense taken. You guys are adorable.”

Jemma glared, but it lacked any sting.

“ _Fitz_ is the adorable one. I am not.”

Fitz looked a bit downcast at that, and Skye felt herself becoming oddly sympathetic.

“Is that why you have a grumpy cat coffee cup?”

Jemma opened her mouth in outrage, and Fitz was smiling widely.

“That’s what I keep telling her Skye, but she insists otherwise,” he said moving in for a fist bump which Skye returned with aplomb.

 

.

 

Days were quiet more often than not. Most of the time, Skye hated it.

She was used to blaring music and the sound of city streets filling up the silence in her life. Skye was required to come into a SHIELD base most days for work when she first started, but after awhile, less and less of her superiors cared where she got her work done so long as she kept up her standards. Many days would find Skye wearing large over sized head phones, tucked away in the nook of some quirky hipster coffee shop, where she looked just like any other neurotic, sleep deprived college student.

But today, three weeks after coming to the Freezer, it was _loud_.

Loud, loud. Like blaring sirens whose main purpose in existence were to burst your eardrums. Fitz wordlessly handed her ear plugs, which Skye was grateful to accept, but only deadened the noise. The throbbing of the sirens sensation of the sirens, however, remained.

There had been a fight, or at least that is what a seething Agent Hand tells them when they are all herded into her office once the sirens have gone off.

The older woman’s office is predictably bland. No pictures propped up on her desk, no accommodations hang on the walls no colorful magnets stuck to the filing shelves. If fact, the only thing that showed this is Hand’s office was the vault like door.

Fitz and Simmons look at each other worriedly, but Hand ignores them in favor of staring at Skye speculatively.

Skye doesn’t flinch.

“Agents Fitz and Simmons, please send for Dr. Pluto. I’d like to speak to her and Agent Johnson alone.”

They were alone for a surprisingly short time before a woman with a perfectly curled halo of dark hair and prophetic eyes glided into the room with the elegance of a ballerina. Dr. Puto smiled a I-use-crest-white-strips-and-I-will-steal-your-boyfriend smile, and Skye knew sure as she knew the sirens had not been caused by a fight that she would never trust this woman.

“Agent Johnson, this is Dr. Raina Pluto. Dr. Pluto, prisoner 86 attacked you during your session with him at 0900, correct?”

“Yes, Agent Hand.”

“What caused the attack?”

“I’m not sure.”

Dr. Pluto’s voice was perfectly poised and perfectly contrite and Skye was surprised that Hand could be so easily duped. Dr. Raina Pluto knew exactly what caused the attack.

“86 was agitated at the beginning of the meeting and he continued to seem restless until I asked him if he wanted to talk about,” she paused and glanced at Skye, “Agent May.”

Almost unconsciously, Skye straitened her back. That was always something Skye had admired about May; her posture. She was often the shortest woman in the room and yet she had the unique ability to tower over others.

“After which he was somehow able to break through the plasma shield and attack.”

“Why aren’t you injured then?”

Hand coughed.

“Dr. Pluto,” Skye added.

Pluto turned and gave a slight smile that made Skye’s blood thrum in the same way it did before she would get into fights.

“Prisoner 86 was unable to hurt me because the second plasma shield stayed in place.”

“You see Agent Johnson,” Hand continues, “it appeared that the first plasma shields all around the prison malfunctioned, but every single back up shield worked perfectly.”

“I know,” Skye said with a raised eyebrow.

“You know.” Agent Hand narrows her eyes and Dr. Pluto looked at her with significantly more interest than before.

“When I was reviewing the code on your operating systems this morning, I found a discrepancy in the backup systems. In my professional opinion, it was too major not to fix right away.”

The room is silent for a while and Skye fights the urge to fidget. Hand seems torn between anger and approval and there is something mirthful in Pluto’s eyes.

“I sent a memo.”

“May was your SO, yes Agent Johnson?”

“Yes Agent Hand.”

“Dr. Pluto, fill Agent Skye in on 86. I want her to interview him. Maybe he just needs a change of pace.”

 

.

 

“What are you doing?” Raina asked as Skye pushed her swiveling computer chair down the hall.

“I’m going to be in there awhile, I might as well be comfortable.”      

Prisoner 86 was a handsome man with too dark eyes. Tall and hulking, he seemed too big for the slender mattress that lay in the corner of his cell and something about him made Skye think that he was used to taking up people’s attention, distracting them from other things.

According to the Freezers data base, prisoner 86 was born Grant Douglas Ward; a level nine prisoner, highly skilled in hand to hand combat. The words ‘DO NOT APPROACH’ were emblazoned on the bottom of his profile.

The bound and (Bless Hand’s little black heart) laminated dossier on the Freezers lingo said that level 9 prisoners were one vague distinction away from level 10, meaning that instead of committing high treason against SHIELD, Ward had only helped and abided a traitor.

Which told Skye virtually nothing.

Dr. Pluto had been similarly unhelpful, slipping and sliding through every question and far too interested in her role in updating the security system. Yet even Skye’s own searches were fairly non-conclusive.

Grant Douglas Ward was the second son of William and Margaret Ward. His father and mother died in a mysterious fire and his older brother took their father’s place in the senate. Then there were the little details; he grew up in Massachusetts, he has a younger brother and sister, he is 32, he was sent to a military academy for high school.

It was what she doesn’t find that makes her suspicious.

No sign of college applications, no high school report cards, no parking tickets, not even a magazine subscription. Skye could look deeper and she will, but in depth background checks take time and less than illegal methods and she had to be especially careful now that she was in a highly guarded government prison.

Ward glanced over at the sound of rolling wheels. He probably intended to be uninterested and glib, but he failed when he saw that it was not Dr. Pluto entering the room.

He sat up on the bed and Skye could feel his eyes on her as she hopped up on the chair and folded her legs underneath her.

“Why were you sent to military school?”

Ward looked at her blankly and laid back down in the mat, and closed his eyes. Skye sighed loudly and pulled out her laptop. Grant Ward was a shady character, and a mystery and mysteries were meant to be solved whether Grant Ward liked it or not.

“According to you medical chart you broke your left arm twice when you were in middle school and broken your right thumb and left index finger also around the same time. But you only have record of going to the hospital once during that time.”

Ward looked up with narrowed eyes.

“Abusive parents? Or negligent parents and an abusive older brother?”

Ward looked impressed against his will. And wary.

“The former. You hacked my medical files?”

“Why do you think SHIELD recruited me?”

“From juvie no doubt.”

“No actually, although apparently you are very familiar with juvie.” Skye scrolled down the page, and felt the realization slam her in the gut as she connected the dots.

“You set the fire that killed your parents.”

Ward was sitting up again, meeting her eyes dead on. The picture on the Freezer’s profile would have fooled you into thinking that Grant Ward was a handsome, clean cut boy scout, a brunette shoe in for Captain America. The Ward looking at her now had sunken eyes and a grizzled beard; a sneering grim reaper with ghosts hanging off his shoulders.

“What did you say your name was? Daisy?”

Skye’s heart dropped to the floor.

“Skye,” she said through gritted teeth.

“You got a last name Daisy?”

This had been a mistake. She hadn’t gone to the freezer to be played around with like she was a mouse and Ward a feral cat.

“Not for you I don’t.”

The room suddenly the room felt claustrophobic. The air was becoming thick and viscous in her lungs and Skye could feel Ward’s dark, dark eyes were boring into her skull all the way down the hall.


	2. i'm going numb, I've been hijacked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I said I'd update this much soon than I did, but I forgot what it was like to be a college student over the break. Also, chemistry and psychobiology are fun, but involve lots of reading and memorization. Anyways, I hope this was worth the wait evieoh, and I promise that I will finish this, but it won't be until I've got another day off. Enjoy!

“Jemma?”

“mmm”

Skye could just see Jemma’s silhouette on the other side of the room. The only light came from their alarm clock and the room was so pitch that the red light seemed glaring. She squeezed her eyes shut willing her limbs to feel heavy but her consciousness remained stubbornly in place. Her mouth felt full of cotton balls and her head pounded dully.

There was a rustling of sheets from where Jemma lay, but no other noise.

“Jemma,” she said, louder than before.

“hmmm, what?” the other woman sighed, her vowels lazy in sleep.

“What do you know about Grant Ward?”

Jemma sighed again and curled deeper into the covers.

“Sleep now, talk later. Preferably with coffee. We’ll bully Fitz into making some.”

Skye a sudden affection for Fitz and Simmons enveloped her, like sinking into a hot bath after a long day. Their friendship had been the only thing that had soothed the raw loneliness that hung around the Freezer like a plague. The last time Skye recalled feeling that way about anyone, they had been adopted, never to be seen again and never to return her letters. Perhaps it was a bad thing to become attached, but there was a quiet sort of achievement in making friends. A wonder that she could make them at all. Besides, Grant Ward was dripping of shadows and ghosts; the best way to separate the man from his past was to force him into the light.

“Okay,” Skye whispered.

She might have imagined it, but she thought she saw Jemma smile.

.

“Okay, who is Grant Ward?” Jemma asked crisply while smothering a scone with Fitz’s special raspberry jam. Behind her, Fitz was rummaging for something in the refrigerator. They had a separate living area than that of the guards and Skye had never been more grateful.

“I was hoping-”

Fitz popped his head from the fridge and looked at Skye with wide eyes.

“Grant Ward?” he said, looking more frazzled than usual.

“You know him?” Jemma asked and Fitz made his way to sit with them, a small carton or half and half in hand. He slid onto his chair and stared intently into his mug.

“Yeah,” Fitz said quietly and fiddled with the string on his tea bag.

“He… Some other engineers and I were ambushed and Ward saved us. Afterwards he would stop by ask about what I was working on. Check up on me.”

Fitz took a hasty sip of his tea and let out a deep breath. Jemma looked caught between curiosity and hurt.

“Where was I during this? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were visiting your parents. I didn’t want to worry you. And by the time you came back he was already dead.”

“What?”

Skye nearly dropped her coffee. Jemma and Fitz both look at her, confused.

“Skye you look like death!” Jemma cried.

“Fitz, how did they saw he died?”

“That he’d been shot,” he told her with wide eyes.

“Why do you ask?”

“He’s-” Skye began, but stopped shot when she say that Dr. Pluto had entered the room.

“Sorry,” Raina said, (No she wasn’t) “But Agent Hand would like you review the new security measures to her.”

Skye gave a significant look to her two friends before saying her goodbyes. She glanced back to see a morose looking Fitz and a determined Simmons as she followed the other woman out of the living area and into the hallway.

“Hand wants me to talk to prisoner 86 again, doesn’t she?” Skye said, resignedly once the door had closed.

“We both do. You seemed upset when 86 called you Daisy. Why was that?”

(Why are you lying? Why does it feel like you’re smirking even though you’re not?)

“I don’t like the name Daisy,” Skye said flatly, and began to walk briskly down the hall. Unfortunately, Raina caught up quickly and kept pace, even though she was in heels.

“Why did SHEILD fake 86’s death?”

“They didn’t want to alert whoever he was working for. They hoped that whoever he was working for would try and help him escape.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before,” asked Skye, annoyed.

“Agent Hand and I wanted to see how you reacted. Congratulations. You passed.”

Skye stopped and turned to look and Pluto with narrowed eyes. She’s was in a perfect floral dress with perfect cat eyes and perfect composure and Skye doesn’t trust her anymore than the day they met.. She can’t help but think that Pluto’s just as shadowed and deceptive as Ward.

“Coming?” Pluto asked and it sounded like a dare.

.

“So we meet again.”

“Yes.”

“Those are some pretty heavy bags under your eyes. Trouble sleeping?”

Skye squashed the urge to stick out her tongue. She was always squashing, resisting urges here. Don’t fidget, don’t roll your eyes, don’t be a child, don’t jump, don’t be scared. What she needed was a full night’s sleep and more coffee. Or maybe what she really needed was fresh air; fresh air and a bustling city street and the clanging of the subway and the wind pulling at her jacket. Not poked and prodded by a grim reaper. Why had she wanted to go to the Freezer again?

Her lead hadn’t even been that solid. But a slight chance was more than no chance and like usual, she had rushed to chase it. May would be so disappointed. The thought sobered her thoughts and she frowned deeply at Ward.

“What made you so important that they sent you to the prison? You’re just the minion. Whoever you were working for isn’t going to get you out of here until it’s convenient for them and not a moment sooner. You’re just gonna rot in here. No matter how many pushups you do,” she added eyeing the bulk of his arms.

Ward’s dark eyes were full of something ugly. His anger was dark and tempestuous as his eyes and it seemed to fill the cell with a crackling energy. He would be Ares, she thought. God of war and destruction. How much could he obliterate before he could be stopped? You can't imprison war, only calm it down. For a terrifying moment, Skye feared that he could see straight through her.

“Well, that makes two of us doesn’t it Daisy? Abandoned by your parents, abandoned by your SO. Why, we’re birds of a feather you and I.”

He stood up, and Skye was reminded just how tall 6’2 was as he made his way to where the plasma shield hummed quietly. He didn’t have to swagger; every step had the elegance of a massive jungle cat.

“We’re the same, Daisy.”

“If you’re trying to scare me, you are going to have to try harder,” Skye sneered.

“Then let the shields down,” he smiled widely, and it pulled at his face in a way that might have been charming if he had not become so pale and gaunt, “see what happens.”

As it was, the smile was filthy and the way her looked at her made her stiffen. How had Raina not tripped over those spindly heels when he attacked? Skye thought of Agent May and her breathing exercises.

“My name is Skye, Prisoner 86. My parents died before I could know them and I was sent here due to my skill set. I hope you’ll try to be more creative the next time I see you.”

Three steps away from the door, Ward spoke up and Skye turned to find his eyeing her thoughtfully.

“The Freezer isn’t just classified because of its prisoners you know. This prison’s got all sorts of secrets. Do ask Raina about them, won’t you?”

Without a word, Skye left the cell block with the feeling that she had never been so far in over her head.

.

“What did Ward mean, ‘this prison is full of secrets’?” Skye asked snidely when she exited the cell block.

She turned to see Pluto seated delicately on her chair, her pen poised to jot down a note on a sleek leather backed notebook.

“From what I understand, this prison contains artifacts and other suspicious recovered items from various seizes. For example, there was a prisoner who came in right before I did that was found with something alien. When he killed three SHIELD agents, they were forced to send him here.”

Skye mulled that over, but found there was little to make sense of it  

“Was that your birth name? Daisy?” Pluto asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Skye muttered, “Stupid name.”

“And you chose your own name as a way of reclaiming your identity.”

Skye turned to stare dully at the other woman.

“Look, _Dr_. Pluto-”

“You can call me Raina you know.”

“And you asked me to call you Raina as a way of creating a false sense of camaraderie. Takes two to tango.”

Raina gave a bland smile, eyes sparkling with amusement.

Skye shuddered.

.

Somehow, she kept on just missing Fitz and Simmons. Eyes bleary, and hair pulled back in a severe ponytail, an exhausted looking Simmons muttered something about resistant and regenerative DNA. Fitz was only a little better, just managing to drink his coffee with her only morning without falling asleep on the table.

"What were you going to say about Grant Ward?"

She might have said "SHEILD faked his death," and "he's not the hero you think he is," but Fitz looked so worn down and tired that she bites her lip.

"I'll tell you later, promise."

. 

Three days after her last interview with Ward, Agent Hand called her in for an evaluation.

Skye entered Hand’s bland office calmly and Hand gestured for her to take a seat, the older agent still busy reading a thick file. It was a heavy thunk and rapid clicking behind her that caused Skye to turn. The massive vault that acted as a door to Hand’s office had been closed and two guards stood on either side. She stared and turned to face the older agent. Hand was looking at her speculatively, as if she was expecting Skye to blurt out a confession of treason and Skye felt fury begin to simmer in the pit of her stomach making her blood run hot and skin itch for a fight.

“An evaluation.”

“Your birth name is Daisy Johnson, correct,” Hand said, her brutal efficiency more grating than usual.

“My name is Skye.”

“Yes or no answers only.”

Skye flexed her palms. She felt that dangerous urge to push Hand’s buttons. It would be so easy; ask her why the successful Victoria Hand was stuck in the middle of nowhere, playing babysitter while reckless agents like Phil Coulson where busy sending her their trash. _Skye,_ May’s voice cautioned and Skye clenched the arm rests.

“Yes.”

“Where you, or where you not recommended to the Freezer by Agent John Garret.”

Skye narrowed her eyes in confusion.

“No.”

“No,” Hand intoned and the look of sheer skepticism on her face was infuriating.

“ _No._ Agent May-”

“Yes or no-”

“-Tough shit. She said she wanted me to work on my patience. I thought this was what she meant.”

Hand stood up and looked down at Skye disdainfully. She opened her mouth to say something, but that was when the alarms went off. Hand’s mouth closed abruptly, and she gestured for the guards to reopen the vault. The phone on her desk began to ring shrilly, a hideous accompaniment to the blaring alarms.

Hand jammed the speaker button.

“What is it, Dr. Pluto?” Hand snapped.

“Someone has deactivated Prisoner 87’s cell. I need Agent Johnson to activate the backup shield. And she needs to be here to do it, someone broke the wiring.”

“Which means it wasn’t me, before you start pointing fingers,” Skye told Hand, aggravated. Hand glared coldly.

“Come,” she said, sweeping around her desk and striding out of the room, the guards and Skye trailing behind in her wake.

“Who is prisoner 87 anyways?” Skye asked, but Hand didn’t even turn to look at her.

Raina met them in the hallway, breathless.

“I’ve been able to contain him, but I need your help.”

“Where?”

“In the breaker room.”

Hand started jogging and Raina struggled to keep up behind them, almost tripping on her heels. For a moment, Skye though of Ward’s hulking frame, lean with muscle, and again wondered how Raina had managed not to trip over her heels and broken an ankle when Ward attacked.

Down the hall, clatter down a level of stairs and strait into the breaker room for the fourth floor- the floor for the most dangerous prisoners, Ward's floor. A guard lay slummed on the ground, unnaturally still. One of Hand’s guards checked for a pulse and shook his head. Swallowing hard, Skye threw open the third breaker box and immediately began to survey the damage.

“Check the security footage,” Hand commanded and proceeded to breath over Skye’s shoulder.

“Could you not?”

“Tough shit.”

They glared at each other for a second, Hand’s eyes flashing with righteous venom and Skye found her respect for the other woman rising. If only just a little.

Skye rummaged through the wires, but something was off. Whoever did this was trying to hide their true purpose, and Skye knew instinctively that she would need much more time, maybe even Fitz's help. Everything seemed to be cut at random, and not even effectively. In order to disable some plasma shields, you had to cut up to eight different wires, while only four or five were cut. 

Confused, Skye glanced back at Hand just in time to see Grant Ward snap her neck.

For a moment, Skye just stared at Hand’s body. She just lay there and Skye tried to will the older agent to move, to twitch her finger. Ward placed a rough hand on Skye’s shoulder and her whole body felt disjointed from her brain, like it had been unplugged. She didn't even think before she rammed her fist into his kidney ( _“be efficient as possible” May said “knock them down fast so you can save energy”_ ). She would have followed it up with a knee to the balls, but Ward had already slammed her against the wall.

Skye gasped and fell on her knees. Her brain had quite suddenly reconnected with her body, but now it was impeded by sensory overload. The lights were blinding, her head throbbing and limbs weak as she struggled to get up. Through the black spots in her vision, she couldn’t see the guards, only strange black pieces of rubble. Ward scooped her up with ease and moments later laid her down on a cold concrete floor.

She groaned, clutching her head.

“I said to play nice.”

Raina. Skye rolled on her side to see the other woman standing beside Ward, a strange crystal held reverently in her hands.

“And I said I would within reason. You didn’t tell me May was training her. She used her signature move without even thinking.”  

Skye tried to stand, but nausea overtook her and she decided to focus on breathing instead. Raina walked rapidly toward her in barely contained excitement. The plasma shields hummed to life trapping her and Raina together. The crystal caught the light and Skye felt feverish.

“What is _that_ thing?”

“That thing,” a man said as her entered the room, “is your destiny.”

Skye didn’t feel like the air had left her lungs. She felt like the world had simply dropped out underneath her. Prisoner 87. Calvin Zebo. Her father.

She had memorized his picture of course. The only proof of his existence, grainy and insignificant as it was. For all of her research, her thrill of finally finding proof of her father's existence, it had never occurred to her that her father was insane. His beady eyes darted around in pure excitement, examining every inch of the daughter he hadn’t seen since infancy.

“Did you ever wonder why you were sent here?” Ward added, looking at her with something that looked like pity.

Skye didn’t answer- couldn’t answer, barely managing to tear her eyes away from her father.

“HYDRA knows your father you know. In exchange for giving him his daughter, he would break me out.”

“I’m different from you,” Cal said hurriedly, eagerness lighting up his face. “Different from how you will be, but I have abilities of my own. I’m very strong.”

“Fitzsimmons,” Skye breathed.

“Pardon?” Cal asked politely.

“That’s why they were sent here. To contain you.”

Cal shrugged.

“No one will ever contain me again. Not after I can finally get to know my daughter.”

His eyes softened, and Skye began to shake her head. Revulsion rose within her like an atomic smoke plum.

“You’re already perfect and you haven’t even transformed yet. Raina? Do it now. I want to see her change.”

“My pleasure,” Raina said softly and Skye realized that this was the first time Raina had ever looked genuine.

Maybe it was stamped into her genetic sequence, or maybe it was just gut intuition, but Skye knew that once that crystal was crushed, she was going to be obliterated.

Too late.

The crystal had already shattered into a thousand pieces.

.

Have you ever been unmade?  

Skye thinks she might be melting. In chemistry, change requires energy and energy causes heat. And that’s what is changing isn’t it? Her body, her fundamental chemistry is being torn apart. Her DNA is being rewritten, it must be. Her bones are splintering and she must be screaming, she must be, but she’s immobile, cocooned in some strange black matter.

For the final few stretches of her transformation, there is Nothing. Skye’s heart stops beating, her lungs deflate and her blood stills.

And then…

The earth quakes beneath her feet, her cocoon shatters, her lungs fill and all she can hear is the steady boom boom boom of her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I lied. This has three parts.
> 
> Reviews are food for my soul and comfort me when I have to study chemistry.


	3. Burn my lungs and curse my eyes

The black matter cocooning her shattered violently, the force of the vibrations pulsing from her chest and radiating out; even her finger-tips shook and she felt as if her shoes would fall off. Whatever relief she might have felt was violently overpowered when the vibrations did not cease. They seemed to radiate out from her, yet never leave her body until it became almost numbing. Overwhelmed and overstimulated, the vibrations finally stopped. She fell to her knees then collapsed fully, shaking violently.

Never before, not even when she was a surly teenager, had she ever felt so uncomfortable in her skin. As it was, her skin felt like it had been peeled from her body dipped in hot oil before it had been plastered back over her muscles, raw and agonizing against the fabric of her clothes.  

“We need a new plan.”

It was Ward. Rather than feeling submerged, his voice was painfully sharp and clear, like needles in her eardrums. She clasped her palms over her ears, desperate. 

“She’s magnificent, isn’t she? Earthquakes! Raina was not so fortunate it seems. The crystal can cause the strangest reactions.”

“You don’t know what you’ve done to her do you?”

A growl.

“I’ve let my daughter become what she’s always been meant to be. Just like her mother.”

“She could conceivably move a mountain, and she’s not going to be able to control whatever it is she can do,” Ward said furiously, then, softer, but with no less venom, “And you’ve condemned Raina to a life of scorn and hatred.”

“She chose this,” Cal told him, petulant.

“Besides, I thought you didn’t care for her.”

“Cruelty is cruelty, Cal.” 

Agonizingly, Skye tucked her head between her knees and tried to calm her breathing. Someone tried to move toward her but was yanked backward.

“How dare you?” Cal snarled.

“I’d prefer she not destroy the building before we can get out of here,” Ward said coldly. “Something tells me you’re not going to help anything.”

A whimper came from the corner of the room and Skye slowly turned her head.

It couldn’t be Raina, and yet it must have been. 

Gone was the alluring and mysterious woman Skye had met in Hand’s office, and in her place was something... else. Something demented and alien looking, covered in spikes like a mutant porcupine. Although her eyes were yellow and like that of an alligator, they were full of terror.

_ Karma _ , a spiteful part of her whispered. But if that was Raina, then what was  _ she? _

The vibrations started up again, organic this time, rapidly spreading through every molecule and the walls began to shake around them violently. Wait...was that... _ her? _

“We need to get out of here,  _ now _ ,” Ward hissed. Cal made to move towards Skye again, but Ward beat him to the punch.

“You’ve done enough,” he said before scooping Skye up in his arms. “You can take the porcupine.”

 

.

 

Six, seven floors up, Ward had to brace himself when the building began to sway. Whatever had happened to her was still making her head spin and her blood run too hot and too fast, but Skye had started to acclimate somewhat. She focused the firm grip of Ward’s arms as the world began to stop spinning like a haywire top. 

“Why did they build this thing like a skyscraper? What if there was a tsunami?” she mumbled.

“I doubt they ever expected you,” Ward huffed, jogging up the stairs. Skye got the distinct feeling that he didn’t want to be anywhere near her father. 

“Fitz always said that the building was structurally unsound.”

“Fitz? With the drones?”

“n’ Simmons. He thought you were dead. Said you saved him once.”

His arms spasmed slightly around her.

“He’s a good kid. Him and the scientist girl together yet?”

“Simmons’ is so smart she can’t even tell he likes her.”

Abruptly, Ward laid her down in a supply closet and closed the door, careful not to hit her head. For a while there was silence. Then there were a few grunts and a man was cut off mid-yell before she heard a loud thunk. Several floors below them, Agent Hand’s body was probably still warm. With that sobering thought, Skye’s head finally began to clear.

Hauling herself off the dusty floor of the supply closet felt something like the way it did the day after May made her do back squats for the first time. But there had been something satisfying in the soreness, even if she’d hated stairs for a week. Now everything just burned and chafed, a raw ache that wouldn’t ease.

Skye pushed open the door in time to see Ward emerge from a room wearing a guard’s uniform and adjusting the collar. For a moment, she could see him as he was before; solemn and clean-shaven, his hair cropped close to his head and broad shoulders filling out a military uniform and she understood. His skin was too pale and his eyes too dark, but once upon a time, he might have been on recruiting posters for Shield. But then he grinned at her, a touch of madness in his eyes and the vision shattered. 

“Did you kill them?”

Ward just looked her, unflinching.  

“I’m glad you can walk. Time to go.”

“No.”

“No?” He asked. Not mad, exactly. Curious, but dangerous too.

He took a step towards her and the something tightened in her gut. The air started to vibrate and Skye’s hands began to tremble. Ward paused and eyed her speculatively.

“What do you think will happen? If you stay? You’re a lab rat waiting to happen,  Skye. You think your friends are going to care?”

“Why do you care?” Skye gasped, the vibrations slowing growing more intense, a tiger pulling restlessly at its leash.

“Because we’re the same,” he said quietly, dark eyes softening. For a moment she hesitated, then brought a roughened hand to her cheek and dragged it to her neck. His hand was cool against her skin, but Skye was the definition of sensory overload and nothing felt like it was supposed to. Skye’s hands clenched and her nails dug sharply into her palms. 

“Bullshit,” she sneered. Ward’s eyes flashed, but removed his hand gently, letting his thumb drag against her jaw. 

“Nuh-uh. You killed your parents via arson and got locked up in a super secret government prison. I got caught hacking into SHIELD from my van. No comparison jackass.”

There were a series of loud footsteps and then a loud gasp.

“Skye!”

“Ward?”

Skye turned to see Jemma and Fitz staring at her and Ward with slack jaws although Jemma was slightly more composed. Fitz looked her might be near tears as his eyes darted between a shaky-legged Skye and a hulking Ward who couldn’t look less like a guard even if he was wearing the right uniform. Quite suddenly, Fitz rushed forward and hugged Skye tightly. She gripped him tightly and tried to slow her breathing. Distantly, she registered Jemma was taking her pulse and had put a hand on her forehead.

“What did they do to you?” Jemma asked in a trembling voice. 

“Time to go, kids. Or the person who did this to her will catch up.” 

Jemma and Fitz exchanged a look brimming with meaning and Skye nodded at them. It wasn’t so hard to think anymore but she didn’t want to expend the energy needed to understand Ward’s motives. Fitz and Jemma both helped prop her up with Ward trailing behind them like a shadow. 

“Did they drug you?” Jemma urged, but Skye ignored her. 

“What’s going on? Where are the guards?”

“Evacuating,” Fitz said and adjusted his grip. “Prisoners are put on lockdown and agents are evacuated via helicopters.” 

“We broke away to find you,” Jemma added quietly and shot a look behind them.

“Where’s Agent Hand?”

Skye wanted to lay down. Something to drink and damp compress would be nice too. 

“Dead.”

Jemma gasped loudly and Fitz shushed her. Any other circumstance Jemma might have whomped him on the back of the head but settled for a withering glare. 

“What do you mean?”

“He killed her,” Skye said dully. She focused on putting one foot in from of the other. The sooner they were out this miserable prison, the better. Fitz went pale beside her and Jemma pressed her lips together, hard.

“Who’s he-this Ward person? But what happened to you? And don’t say you’re fine!”

Skye swallowed thickly and saw that Jemma’s brown eyes were huge with fear. How do you explain that you are, quite literally, not the same person you were two hours before? Was she even human anymore? A phantom sob racked her chest. Skye looked at Jemma again and realized too late that she had scared her friend even more.

“SKYE!”

Cal.  She didn’t need to tell Fitz and Jemma what to do: They hauled Skye through the doorway and slammed it closed, locking it frantically locking it behind them. There was a shout followed by a loud crash but they didn’t look back. 

Breaking into a dead sprint, the trio raced up the last set of stairs to the roof. Jemma broke away and fiddled with the lock and opened the door so they could burst onto the roof. 

For a moment there was weightlessness and then a powerful gust of wind threw her to her knees, but Fitz held her in a vice grip.

“You’re stronger than you look,” Skye told him, half dazed.

“Why does everybody always say that?” Fitz said, sounding annoyed despite everything.  

In front of them, Jemma waved her hands frantically over her head.

“They’re leaving!” She yelled, distraught.

Skye searched the horizon to find the helicopters that had once been parked on the top of the Freezer were but black dots in the distance. 

“Shit,” Skye gasped, hair whipping around her and eyes stinging- why hadn’t she worn a ponytail? Fitz seemed beyond words.

A loud crash sounded behind them and all three turned to see that Cal had ripped the door off its hinges. He stalked towards them, a malevolent looking Ward pushing past him. Skye’s stomach turned to lead. Jemma staggered over to them and clutched the back of Skye’s shirt.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

_ “What are you doing?” _ Fitz hissed as Skye pushed him and Jemma behind her.

“Well, we were _ trying _ to get away from you and your murderous henchman.”

“I’m not his henchman.”

Skye rolled her eyes at Ward.

“It’s funny that’s what you take offense to.”

“Sweetheart,” Cal tried, but Skye recoiled. Ward pushed past the other man and offered a hand to Skye.

“If all three of you want to get out of this prison, you need to listen.”

“I can help you!” Cal yelled into the wind and Skye felt fury like she’d never known begin to burn in her chest. It was too much. This time, Skye let the vibrations build and focused all her fury on the two men in front of her.

If Skye had known how to use her newfound abilities, it might have worked. As if body slammed, Fitz and Simmons were forced back, skidding with frightening quickness towards the edges of the helipad. Horrified, Skye felt herself fall backward. 

A moment later, the wind had finally succeeded what it had been trying to do the when she first arrived at the Freezer.

She fell.

Tumbled really. Right off the helipad, and plunged into the open air.

The weightlessness stole her breath, but it also stole the pain of the transformation. For the first time in what felt like eons, Skye could think clearly. Maybe it was better she was dead. People weren’t supposed to be able to move mountains after all. 

The sky stretched out, cloudless over her head. To think her name would be the last thing she saw as if she had predicted her own demise when she was fourteen.

She was falling to her death. And then quite suddenly she wasn’t. She caught a flash of blond hair, felt something grip her harshly and then the solid weight of the helipad beneath her. Dazed, she opened her eyes to see a blond man with no eyes. Faintly, she thought she could hear Fitz and Simmon’s cry her name. 

The wind tugged rough and cold like it had during the fall, and suddenly Skye felt numb. The adrenalin that had kept her moving had depleted. For the second time that day she felt herself slump to the ground and her sight darkened. 

I’m rebooting, she thought wildly. Then the world went black.

 

.

 

There was a flash of gravel road, sharp sunshine, Jemma’s worried face, and then blissful darkness. When Skye finally did come to, the relief was palpable. Not like the adrenaline-fueled numbness of the fall, but the intense discomfort of the transformation had faded to the point of being manageable rather than overwhelming. Cautiously, she rolled her head and let her eyes fall open.

She was in a wood paneled room, resembling something between a sauna and a hotel room. Natural light fell in through high glass windows and numerous candles added more light without being overpowering to her sensitive eyes. Fitz sat by her feet, hands clasped behind the back of his head and staring at the ground. Jemma was pacing the rooms, deep in thought. 

“You  _ sure _ she’s gonna wake up soon?” Fitz asked in a muffled voice.

Skye meant to say something comforting, but all that came out was: “Mmph.”

Jemma walked briskly over to check her pulse.

“How are you?”

“Uhh…” Skye rubbed her eyes. The bed she was laying on was far more comfortable than her bed at the freezer and she had no intention of getting up if she didn’t have to.

“What happened?” she croaked.

“You passed out.”

Skye gave Fitz a limp kick in the knee.

“No, Duh. After that. Where are we?”

“You fell. And then that guy rescued you?” Fitz told her with wide eyes.

“Apparently he can  _ teleport _ ,” Simmons finishes. 

“As for location, who knows. They wouldn’t tell us. We’re not even sure where they put Ward and Cal. Some sort of facility for people like the teleporter though,” she added pressing her lips together.

“Someone like me you mean?” Skye said, sinking into the bed. 

Fitz and Simmons had no answer to that. Skye didn’t expect them to- she didn’t have one either. After a long moment, Fitz scooted his chair over and grabbed her hand.

“You’re still one of us. We’re a team, we’ll figure it out,” he told her earnestly and squeezed her hand. On her other side, Simmons looked perturbed but when she met Skye’s eyes, there was only determination in her gaze.

Skye felt her chest expand with warmth, the vibrations in her chest dying down to a gentle hum.

“We also saw Raina,” Fitz paused and exchanged a nervous look with Simmons, “What happened to her?”

“Same thing that happened to me,” Skye said, resigned.

“We just reacted differently to the same stimuli I guess.”

“Stimuli? You’ve been spending too much time with us,” Fitz said with a weak grin.

“What happened down there?”

Skye slowly met Jemma’s wide brown eyes and felt the sudden inexplicable urge to cry.

“Raina told Hand there had been a breach. Hand took me down to fix it. Raina, Ward, and Cal were all in on it. After he killed Hand, they took me to a cell and smashed this crystal… thing,” She finished lamely. 

“I don’t know what I am,” she whispered thickly.

Fitz squeezed her shoulder.

Skye looked up to see Jemma was off in her own world where genetic sequences materialized and chemistry equations balanced themselves before her eyes.

“I wonder-”

“Good,” A woman’s voice sounded from the doorway. “You’re awake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just kidding, there will be four chapters! Hopefully, the final one will be up before June. I can't believe I've been writing this since 2015. Evieoh, I'm so sorry it's taken me this long! Hope you enjoy.


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